Saturday, July 23, 2005

INTERVIEW WITH A "PROGRESSIVE" JOURNALIST

(A one finger salute to Greg Palast, Michael Moore,and Gerald Plessner )

This morning, I’ve decided to do something different in The Morning Paper by interviewing one of the "Progressive" journalists who so enrich our Internet experience.

My guest is Rancid (Rance) De Mento ,whose website – bashdubyadaily.org – I happened to spot while browsing the English language page of Al-Behedder Online – which, as you may surmise,is popular in the Arab-speaking world.

TMP: Mr. De Mento, I could not help but see your featured article in Al-Behedder today:

BUSH PLANS TO NUKE MECCA,SEIZE OILFIELDS !

I must say it seems a bit…

De Mento (Chuckles) Startling ? Did I startle you out of your Neo-Con complacency for a few seconds ? You idiots are all alike !

TMP: Well, it certainly was startling – but was any of it true ?

De Mento : Truth is a relative construct. What is true today may be false tomorrow – depending on the requirements of the people.

TMP: Does this mean your story is a bare-faced lie ?

De Mento : It means those who characterize it as a lie are being mean-spirited and divisive – and are probably homophobic as well.

TMP : Are you even remotely aware of the impact this monstrous fiction of yours will have on the Arab-speaking world ?

De Mento : I’m counting on it,baby ! Listen: Where were you sniveling neo-cons when the 7th Cavalry opened fire on the Lakota at Wounded Knee ?

TMP: I don't know about the neo-cons, but I wasn’t even born yet !

De Mento : So why are you so (expletive deleted) defensive about it ?
See what you get for voting for that (expletive deleted) Shrub ??

TMP: Let me sum up: You’ve lied,you’ve tried to stir up further trouble in the world , and now you’re mis-directing and resorting to ad hominem attacks.


De Mento : Smart-ass ! What did you do to help struggling Pullman porters in the 1930’s ? What ? What’s that look on your face ?

TMP: Did you just do something nasty ,or did Mommy forget to tell you about soap and water ?

( Door slams. Interview ends.)

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