Friday, August 05, 2005

Information You Will Need to Survive the Weekend…………not


Boca Raton, Florida: A California angler caught a 12’ Mako shark while out doing a bit of sport fishing. It took the efforts of everybody aboard the boat to subdue and dispatch the intensely annoyed critter.

In case anyone is wondering, the picture of a shark on the posters for cult classic "Jaws" is of a Mako – which really DOES have teeth that look like that !

I’m waiting to see who files the first complaint : PETA or the Florida Bar Association – (for excessive sanctions against a Member).

Denver, Colorado is known as a city that embraces diversity. Some argue the Denver Public Library has gone a bit TOO far.

It appears the library offers Spanish language comic books called Novelas whose "graphics" tend to be a bit graphic. Think "Modern Romance" comics-the kind teenage girls used to hide from their mothers – and add layers of brutality and "nekkid lust" –all carried to their barely – concealed conclusions. In short, novelas are irresistably attractive to teens – many of whom now seem to be studying "Spanish as a Second Language".

Speaking of Books, Democrat James E. Mc Greevey, who resigned as Governor of New Jersey ,after admitting ,in an August 12,2004 speech ,to an adulterous relationship with a young Israeli man named Golan Cipel ,plans to write a "tell-all" book,and has found a publisher.

Contrary to what some gay activists have claimed, New Jersey residents were less concerned with the governor’s sexual orientation,than they were with the fact Mc Greevey had tried to put Cipel – a non-citizen with no real experience-on the state payroll as Director of Homeland Security.

Cipel,who returned to Israel after allegations he had tried to "shake down" the governor surfaced, insists he is "straight" ,and was sexually harassed by the governor. (I have included this unwanted information in the interests of fairness and balance-and so you would have something to roll your eyes at.)

New Jersey figures further in our Friday fishwrap. Black bears,which have been making a comeback,have developed a fondness for summer camps-especially those at which young children abound.

There have been a number of scary incidents at these camps – including one recent videotaped event, in which a bear entered a camp in broad daylight ,and began sniffing at and "mouthing" the feet of a sleeping camper.

The Department of Environmental Protection is distressed : seemingly because it has been necessary to kill a few bears that have gotten openly dangerous ; and it is mulling new regulations designed to protect the BEARS.

Psst ! When bears walk openly into an occupied campground, and begin looking for campers to nosh on , it means they have become dangerously habituated to humans. (Can you say "habituated" , Mr. DEP Director ? Mmm… I didn’t think so. )

Just a few years ago, in Colorado,local authorities warned the State Environmental people Cougars were becoming much too habituated to humans.

The State shrugged at the warnings, until a high school athlete- jogging around a cross-country trail in broad daylight - was killed and partially eaten by a cougar, that the State said , " Oh. THAT’S what habituation means !"

(Some of the Colorado biologists continued to insist such a thing was "impossible" – just as they do now in New Jersey. )

"Well ,yes : a black bear did grab a baby out of a carriage ,kill her, and eat her about two years ago…but that was a good 10 miles across the state line – in New York – and no , we don’t think another bear hunting season would be a good idea !"

Hmmmmm…… I wonder how a tell-all book by a bear would sell ???

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home