Monday, August 22, 2005

Odds ‘n Endings

Berlin: When a package started making a ticking sound in a busy post office,all hands were evacuated while the brave officers of the Bomb Squad did their job.

The package turned out to contain something called an “electronic nappy”-designed to monitor baby’s diaper for wetness, and to emit a “beeping” sound – (instead of a sinister ticking noise)- when it is time for a change.

Hmmm… What’s next ? An octopus-armed “Robo-Nanny” ?

(Oh ! They already have one : It’s called a “Mom”.)

Salt Lake City : A local woman was pulling into her two-car garage when she saw something white run in ahead of her.

Accompanied by her Golden Retriever, the woman searched the garage and discovered she had a mountain goat as a guest .

Thinking quickly, the woman opened the other garage door,so the goat could make its getaway.

The goat countered by jumping onto the roof of a pickup truck , in the other bay of the garage , and dancing around on the roof in little circles.

At this point, the woman called Animal Control . She also grabbed her camera : knowing if she told her insurance company the truck had been damaged by a mountain goat , it would be a good idea to have some proof.

Animal Control finally tranquilized the critter, and hauled him away.

“We’re not quite sure why a goat would go and do this “, a Wildlife spokesperson said.

Fortunately,there was no damage to the pickup truck roof – and the woman did get some memorable pictures .

Gardnerville, Nevada : After the lights went out suddenly in the firehouse, two firefighter-paramedics rushed outside to investigate, and found a small grass fire near the base of the 40’ powerline pole.

After extinguishing the blaze, they discovered a just-breathing, badly singed cat ,lying unconscious near the base of the pole.

When the power company checked the pole, they found evidence of the likely cause: a bird’s nest on top of the pole, and a large black spot where something had touched a relay switch on a 25,000 volt line.

The cat , although presently hairless , is expected to make a full recovery; and will hopefully do his future stalking in safer surroundings : not a bad idea, considering the number of lives he has used up !

New York : The prestigious New York Times has invented a new phrase :

Yesterday’s editorial page proclaimed CINDY SHEEHAN as THE OFFICIAL GRIEVING MOTHER (TOGM) , and denounced all who might disagree with her slightest utterance – no matter how wacky or obnoxious.

Such persons are, in the words of the Times, trying to Swift-Boat Cindy.

This proclamation means that OTHER grieving mothers of fallen service personnel exist ONLY as extensions of TOGM , and may be disregarded-
(Nothing new there !)-especially if they disagree with Cindy Sheehan.

So, heads up, out there ! Don’t Swift-Boat Cindy !!


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