Friday, September 02, 2005

Cat Burglar Arrested – and Other “Animal Antics”

Berlin: German police, investigating a suspected apartment burglary,found broken window blinds, torn-down drapes, and badly trashed furniture.

A broken aquarium, and a trail of fish remains led to apprehension of the perpetrator : a large, heavyweight male cat – which surrendered only after a bitter struggle, in which he bit one officer on the thumb.

The cat was wearing a collar and identifying tag , so it was not difficult to reunite the surly animal with its owner – who ,we are told , was less ecstatic about the reunion after learning she would be held responsible for all the damages.

Rome: Reforms Minister Roberto Calderoli was accused by animal rights groups of breaking the law by harboring wild animals : wolves to be exact.

The Minister, who is not known for his diffidence, responded in the newspaper by inviting the activists to stop by.

“ If anyone wants to visually ascertain what type of wolves they are, they’re welcome. We always need fresh meat. “

(So far, no one has expressed interest in “dancing with wolves”.)

Cambridge, MA – Researchers at M.I.T. announced plans to “train” one of Sony’s robotic dogs – “Aibo”- as a weight-watching personal fitness guru.

Aibo would be connected by radio to the bathroom scales, to a pedometer,and to a personal data organizer – in which the lucky owner would get to enter details of daily food intake.

The robo-mutt would “ jump excitedly,play funky music,and flash colored lights – of flop down and play a dirge “ – depending on how well the diet was followed.

It would insist on being taken for long,healthy walks ; however, no pooper scooper would be required , and there would be no wrist-dislocating lunges at hydrants, trees, expensive shrubbery, cats, other dogs,etc.,etc.,etc.


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