Monday, September 19, 2005

Stories You Hate to Hear


Newport Beach, California : A group of 40 sea lions has been making itself rather unwelcome in this upscale community.

The creatures keep residents awake by barking most of the night.
They climb aboard residents’ prized boats : fouling and damaging them.
In one case, all 4o climbed aboard a small, pricey sailboat – causing it to sink.

Residents are at their wit’s end , because the sea lions are protected by a 1972 federal law , which says the creatures cannot be killed,harmed, or harassed.

(It is, incidentally, a law Newport Beach residents lobbied for in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s…)


Wellington,NZ: A Green Party legislator – who promised he would run naked through the streets if his rival was elected – says he will keep his promise.

Legislator Keith Locke said he would do “the nude dash” if Rodney Hide won a parliamentary seat in Epsom.

Mr. Hide won by a 3200 vote plurality.

Now Locke says there are certain preparations that have to be made before he keeps his end of the deal. There is body paint, choreography, and artistic effect to be considered. One cannot simply rush into these matters !

Local merchants have expressed a willingness to have a specific street closed off for the event, to arrange for any necessary permissions, and to supply Mr. Locke with a loincloth at the conclusion of his run.

(Perhaps slippers for Mr. Locke’s rapidly cooling feet ? )


Fargo, ND: A man who apparently thought supplying police with a videotape of himself attacking a woman he was told to leave alone would lead to a lifting of the restraining order was proven wrong.

Prosecutors say the man secreted a video camera in the woman’s home,then forced himself upon her.

The video – about half an hour long – includes plain evidence of the woman’s unwillingness, and her struggles with the defendant, according to the prosecutor.

(Everybody wants to be a star … Oh well : Guess this wannabee will soon get a walk-on part in a courtroom production ! )

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