Monday, October 10, 2005

All the Naked News That’s Fit to Print


Clearfield,Utah: A 51 year-old Sunset, Utah man, who, it is alleged, has a certain fondness for appearing nude in public , was charged with lewdness after entering a local convenience store- wearing nothing but a tentative smile.

Not content with that achievement,he reportedly made a trip –au natural-past the drive-in window at a fast food restaurant,

After being arrested and released on recognizance, the intrepid flasher telephoned the convenience store,asked permission to enter the store naked,and tried to talk employees out of testifying against him.

Store personnel called the police-who watched as the man approached the shop, stripped naked , and walked inside.

He is now lodged in the county jail on a variety of charges and has been issued nice, eye-catching orange clothing.


For more of the “naked truth”, let us go to:

Darlington, SC : When police responded to an intrusion alarm at a local check cashing/cash advance center, they noticed ceiling tiles,insulation,wires and braces littering the floor.

A naked 22 year-old man – whose body showed numerous scapes, bruises and abrasions, then dropped from the ceiling and tried to open the front door .

He claimed somebody had thrown his keys up on the roof of the building – which explained why he might have climbed up there – but was at a bit of a loss to explain why he had removed his clothes and slid through a roof air vent.

The intruder has been charged with burglary, and will doubtless be chagrined to learn the business keeps no money on the premises overnight.


Medford,Oregon: A 33 year-old man, who is registered in the state of Washington as a sex offender, apparently started out his visit to Oregon naked-and covered with what looked like excrement.

A Medford woman was a bit alarmed when she saw the visitor enter her yard – wearing nothing but a piece of rope around his waist.

The man then tore a strip of “leopard - pattern” vinyl from the seat of a lawn chair, and used it to fashion himself a sort of loincloth.

The woman alerted police, who began looking for him – but four high school girls riding in a car spotted him first.

By this time,the Washington man had acquired a pair of jeans – (cool!) but still appeared to be covered with excrement – ( uncool !)

The young ladies declined his request for a lift to a nearby motel, and called police.

Police took the man into custody and stripped him, prepatory to hosing him down – (he said he had rolled in tomato paste the night before, but police scented a whiff of deception ) – and found he was wearing a leopard - pattern vinyl loincloth, secured by a rope.

(Two cases solved with one arrest ! Now that’s police work !)

1 Comments:

Blogger Elisha Cuthbert said...

I was browsing and found your blog. I am pretty new to blogging but I am working on blog for Elisha Ann Cuthbert. It should be pretty cool when it is finished. Keep blogging!

Monday, 10 October, 2005  

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