Monday, October 31, 2005

Scratch Where it Itches

I

There was a gal named Ida Mae :
When she was seventeen,
She went to Atlantic City
To become a Beauty Queen.


She could sing just like an Angel,
An’ her figger shore did please-
But then she started scratchin’
Like an ol’ houn’ dog with fleas !


Chorus

Scratch where it itches-
Right down in yer britches;
Scratch where it itches-
An’ not where it looks the best !


II

Oh, it musta been contagious ,
Or somethin’ in the air –
‘Cause all of them Contestants
Started itchin’ everywhere !


They had to stop the Pageant :
All the Judges hollered “Whoa !”
When lovely Miss America
Scratched herself from head to toe !



Chorus

Scratch where it itches-
Right down in yer britches;
Scratch where it itches-
An’ not where it looks the best !




III


There’s a moral to this story-
Now that we’ve had our fun :
Folks are pretty much the same
After all is said and done,


There’s times you can’t be subtle-
When you gotta be direct:
When you gotta scratch even though it ain’t
Politically correct !


Chorus


You gotta scratch where it itches :
Right down in your britches-
You gotta scratch where it itches,
An’ not where it looks the best !

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