Friday, December 09, 2005

Three Nights Stumped


(Inspired by an article in New Scientist warning of a mini-ice age –that could – somehow - be attributed to man-made global warming.)


I come home on Monday night –
I was sober as could be !
Found an ice-skatin’ rink in the backyard
Whar the swimmin’ pool should be.


So I sez to my wife
My purty l’il wife,
“Explain this thang to me :
What’s an ice rink doin’ in our backyard
Where the swimmin’ pool should be ?”


An’ she said :

“Old fool, you stubborn fool –
Are you too blind to see ?
It’s an artifact of global warming :
They said so on TV.”



Well, now:

I’ve traveled this whole world round an’ round :
Ten thousand miles or more –
But an artifact in my swimmin’ pool ??
I never did see before ! !



I come home late on Tuesday night :
Two foot of snow was in the ground,
An’ every time I tapped the brakes
My pickup spun around .


So I sez to my wife
My purty l’il wife :
“Explain this thang to me :
How’d we get a blizzard in August ?
What could the reason be ?”

An’ she said :


“Old fool, you stubborn fool
Are you too blind to see ?
It’s an artifact of global warming-
They said so on TV .”



Well , now :


I’ve traveled this whole world round and round :
Ten thousand miles or more –
But a blizzard in the middle of August
I never did see before !



We was all snowed in by Wednesday night-
It was piled up to the trees !
The power was off, an’ there wasn’t any heat .
I was sure we was gonna freeze !


So I says to my wife
My shiverin’ l’il wife:
“Explain this thang to me :
Where in heck is that Global Warmin’ ?
Can they send a bit to you an’ me ? “


An’ she said:


“Old fool, stop yammering
An’ fetch a quilt for me –
If you snuggle here beside me
We’ll be toasty as can be !”



Well,now:


I’ve traveled this whole world round an’ round:
Ten thousand miles or more-
But a warmer like my purty l’il wife
I never did see before !

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