Thursday, February 16, 2006

Girlie Porn : Is Someone YOU Love Addicted ??



Men of America : Has this happened to you ?


You leave for work in the early morning hours – but – a few minutes away from home, you suddenly discover you have left important papers or vitally-needed equipment behind; so you turn around and rush back to your cozy little home.


As you hurry to the door, you notice the house is still dark – except for the telltale blue flicker of a TV set – and you begin to wonder.


Why is my wife/girlfriend sitting there in the dark – at this hour - watching TV ?


You enter the house quietly. Perhaps she turned the TV on, forgot it,and went back to bed . Then you hear it : a low, ululating cry that seems to be coming from the TV room:


“Yes ! Yes- YES !!”


And, worse still : “ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh – OH YES !!!


If you are like most husbands (or Significant-Others-likely-to-make-a-Real Commitment ), you are faced with a dilemma.


Should you get what you came for,and tiptoe out quietly ?


Or should you confront the wanton and “have it out” right now (in a sincere,caring,and supportive manner: paying special attention to her previously unattained needs; and your careless failure to recognize and meet them ) ?


Yep. That’s what I’d do, too. You are on your way to work !


But, just to satisfy your curiosity, you tiptoe to the slightly ajar door of the TV room, and peek in ---recoiling instantly from the gut-wrenching filth
flashing brazenly across the screen !


It’s the (Ulp !) HOME IMPROVEMENT NETWORK !!!


Gentlemen : If you have never seen this insidious material before, mere words can do no justice to the effect of scenes like the following :


A neatly-but-casually dressed young man – who is not clenching the stub of a cigar in his teeth ,and who speaks perfect, colloquial English,is conferring earnestly with a moderately (but not threateningly) attractive young woman about a remodelling project.


He is suggesting conversion of the spare, highly functional dinette area into a reasonable facsimile of a Trappist refectory : complete with arched doorways , acres of hardwood tables,overhead racks laden with gleaming implements, huge cooking ranges and ovens,great,gleaming copper bottomed pots, and… Oh my !


The attractive young woman will never actually cook anything in this refectory – but she will get to show it off to all her green-with-envy friends ! (Oh, yes !)


There are, or course, no budget restrictions on this project …
(Oh-oh- OH !)


Come away from that doorway, Brother ! You’ve seen enough !


Tiptoe : softly – softly out the door , and scurry to your car before
She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed notices you have watched any part of a Home Improvement show !


There will be plenty of time – after you come home – to take drastic remedial action : to re-program the “favorite channels” so that “Pimp My Ride” , or “Motorweek” , or “ NFL Classics” , or “The Hunting Channel” come up when she tries to tune in any Shop-at-Home or Home Improvement channel. (You will, of course, use the adult “blocking” tools provided by your Supplier – if you have any sense at all.)


Men of America, strike a blow against Girlie Porn !!


Your future happiness may well depend upon it !

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