Washington : In response to recent complaints by CAIR and other Muslim groups,the TSA has decided to make a dramatic shift in its screening policies.
According to Haye Bin Dover, the agency’s newly-appointed Special Deputy for Political Correctness and Dhimmitude , TSA screeners will now select Amish air travelers for extra scrutiny.
“They have these funny little chin beards “, Mr. Bin Dover said disapprovingly. “The men could stand a good shave too.”
“These Amish speak some sort of “Pennsylvania Dutch” . If our friends from the Hamburg Cell have trouble understanding them , how are we supposed to make heads or tails out of what they’re saying ?”
“For all we know, they could be plotting to smuggle scrapple – or “shoo –fly pies” aboard our aircraft . They are a very devious people !”
Asked if there were really that many “Flying Amish” , Special Deputy Bin Dover shrugged. “ Nobody knows for sure; but we’ve appointed a blue ribbon multi-million dollar taskforce to study the problem ,and should have some clear answers in a year or two.”
“These days, you just can’t be too careful !”