Thursday, August 24, 2006

New TSA Policy : Amish to be Selected for Extra Scrutiny

Washington : In response to recent complaints by CAIR and other Muslim groups,the TSA has decided to make a dramatic shift in its screening policies.

According to Haye Bin Dover, the agency’s newly-appointed Special Deputy for Political Correctness and Dhimmitude , TSA screeners will now select Amish air travelers for extra scrutiny.

“They have these funny little chin beards “, Mr. Bin Dover said disapprovingly. “The men could stand a good shave too.”

“These Amish speak some sort of “Pennsylvania Dutch” . If our friends from the Hamburg Cell have trouble understanding them , how are we supposed to make heads or tails out of what they’re saying ?”

“For all we know, they could be plotting to smuggle scrapple – or “shoo –fly pies” aboard our aircraft . They are a very devious people !”

Asked if there were really that many “Flying Amish” , Special Deputy Bin Dover shrugged. “ Nobody knows for sure; but we’ve appointed a blue ribbon multi-million dollar taskforce to study the problem ,and should have some clear answers in a year or two.”

“These days, you just can’t be too careful !”


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