Saturday, September 30, 2006

A Day in the Life of Joseph Neo-Lib

Joseph (never “Joe” !) Neo-Lib reaches out quickly to turn the alarm off at 9:00 AM. His spouse is still sleeping , and he has no desire to awaken her – as she is apt to resume her late - night critique of his lack of social consciousness. ( Sometimes Joseph wishes Amanda would pay more attention to sex than geo-politics ; but she is, otherwise , an asset in their social circle.)

The children are already in school . Alma , the maid has seen to that . (She is indeed a treasure , and someday , Joseph supposes , he should do something about getting her a Green Card –but that would entail paperwork,legal fees,and the payment of Social Security and Income tax to those Fascists in Washington : quite a bit to undertake for a lowly , overweight Mexican woman ! )

Having heard her employer stirring , Alma has begun the process of grinding fresh-roasted , de-caffeinated Costa Rican coffee beans –(organically grown by a socially conscious co-op producer) – for preparation in a French coffee press.

After a leisurely breakfast of fresh coffee , and a low fat muffin ,spread with a dab of wild honey –harvested by a commune up in Carmel – Joseph is ready to go to work.

Paco (or is it Pedro ?) the chauffeur brings the fuel-efficient Prius around . Amanda will be taking the big Cadillac Escalade to the Club later on today , so Joseph will have to make do.

On the way to the airport , Joseph spots a commuter train rumbling downtown . There are only a few passengers aboard : well –dressed executives much like himself – but he is glad he does not have to squirm on the hard seats and make polite conversation with them : even happier he does not have to endure an early morning ride – standing elbow to elbow with the smelly proletariat who pay for this train.

Grandfather’s Trust Fund makes such indignities unneccessary. The old man invested wisely in railroads, heavy , smoky industry , airlines , trucking, real estate , and banking – then got out before the various bubbles burst : his estate , in due time time , leaving Joseph exceptionally comfortable.

Joseph sighs. He has a busy day ahead of him.

He will board a Lear jet and fly to a conference in the Bahamas on Global Warming : a cause he is passionate about. The Proletariat must be persuaded to cut back on their emissions – via car pools, mass transportation , and mandatory adjustments of their thermostats !

The sleek jet roars southward – spewing more emissions in the transport of one man than caused by thousands of morning commuters-caught in the twice-daily gridlock...

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

NIGERIAN SCAM E MAIL - Sent to Iraqi Intelligence Service (Pre-War Documents)

c/o The Abacha’s Family Legal Adviser
(Abacha’s Family Estate)
Attn.: The President/CEO

I am Dr. (Mrs.) Maryam Abacha, wife to the late
Nigeria Head of State - General Sani Abacha. I am
proposing this business to you because we could be of
great assistance to each other, likewise developing a
cordial business relationship. I currently have within
my reach the sum of Twenty-Five Million, Six Hundred
Thousand United States Dollars (US$25,600,000:00) cash
which I intend to use for investment purpose specifically
in your country.

This money came as a result of a pay back contract
deal between my late husband and a Russian firm on our
country’s Multi-billion Dollars Ajaokuta Steel Plant.

The Russian partners returned my husband’s share of
US$25.6 million after his death and lodged it with my
husband’s security firm in Nigeria of which I am a
Right now, the new civilian government has
revoked our licenses that allow us to own a financial
and oil company. In view of this, I acted very fast to
withdraw the US$25.6 million from the company’s vault
will preserved and packaged in trunk boxes and
deposited it in ECOWAS Security Bank.

I have since declared our security company bankrupt.
No record ever existed concerning the many neither is
the money traceable by the government because there is
no document showing that we received the money from the Russians.

Due to the current situation in the country concerning
the government attitude towards my family, it has
become quite impossible for me to make use of the
money within, thus I seek your assistance to move the
money out of this country.

On your consent, I shall expect you to contact me urgently to enable us discuss
in detail about this transaction.

Bearing in mind that your assistance is needed to transfer this fund.
Your urgent response is highly needed. All correspondences
must be channeled to our legal adviser thus:

Barrister Tom Bello Esq through his direct Email I must also use this opportunity to implore you to exercise
utmost indulgence to keep this transaction a confidential issue. You can also contact
me directly on my secret confidential email address if
there is need.
Thanks and God bless you.
commercial Export
Respected General Director
Please review: One of the
messages delivered to us by
E-mail. With regards,
To be translated into Arabic.

Monday, September 11, 2006


Dedicated to First Responders Everywhere

On the Eleventh of September
In the Year Two Thousand One
America lay wounded
In the smoke-filled morning sun.

It was a day of horror
To sear the very soul-
It was a day when Heroes
Like Todd Beamer cried : “ Let’s roll !”

In the blazing World Trade Towers
Where so many people died,
Some thirty thousand lives were spared
Because Heroes rushed inside.

A civilian, Chuck Costello
Was one who heard the Call:
He was not paid to risk his life,
But he bravely risked it all.

He rushed to the fierce inferno:
Pulled people out of Hell ;
And he went back – time and time again
Till the great South Tower fell.

Though he died an unsung Hero
May his memory live on-
Till the Great Clock chimes its final note
And the Human Race is gone !

Navy veteran Chuck Costello, of Old Bridge, NJ , was a family friend -best man at my daughter's wedding- and is still missed by his family and his many friends.