Saturday, September 30, 2006

A Day in the Life of Joseph Neo-Lib

Joseph (never “Joe” !) Neo-Lib reaches out quickly to turn the alarm off at 9:00 AM. His spouse is still sleeping , and he has no desire to awaken her – as she is apt to resume her late - night critique of his lack of social consciousness. ( Sometimes Joseph wishes Amanda would pay more attention to sex than geo-politics ; but she is, otherwise , an asset in their social circle.)

The children are already in school . Alma , the maid has seen to that . (She is indeed a treasure , and someday , Joseph supposes , he should do something about getting her a Green Card –but that would entail paperwork,legal fees,and the payment of Social Security and Income tax to those Fascists in Washington : quite a bit to undertake for a lowly , overweight Mexican woman ! )

Having heard her employer stirring , Alma has begun the process of grinding fresh-roasted , de-caffeinated Costa Rican coffee beans –(organically grown by a socially conscious co-op producer) – for preparation in a French coffee press.

After a leisurely breakfast of fresh coffee , and a low fat muffin ,spread with a dab of wild honey –harvested by a commune up in Carmel – Joseph is ready to go to work.

Paco (or is it Pedro ?) the chauffeur brings the fuel-efficient Prius around . Amanda will be taking the big Cadillac Escalade to the Club later on today , so Joseph will have to make do.

On the way to the airport , Joseph spots a commuter train rumbling downtown . There are only a few passengers aboard : well –dressed executives much like himself – but he is glad he does not have to squirm on the hard seats and make polite conversation with them : even happier he does not have to endure an early morning ride – standing elbow to elbow with the smelly proletariat who pay for this train.

Grandfather’s Trust Fund makes such indignities unneccessary. The old man invested wisely in railroads, heavy , smoky industry , airlines , trucking, real estate , and banking – then got out before the various bubbles burst : his estate , in due time time , leaving Joseph exceptionally comfortable.

Joseph sighs. He has a busy day ahead of him.

He will board a Lear jet and fly to a conference in the Bahamas on Global Warming : a cause he is passionate about. The Proletariat must be persuaded to cut back on their emissions – via car pools, mass transportation , and mandatory adjustments of their thermostats !

The sleek jet roars southward – spewing more emissions in the transport of one man than caused by thousands of morning commuters-caught in the twice-daily gridlock...


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